Monday, March 15, 2010

Too Nice Outside Monday


It's just too nice outside.

Today, like yesterday the sun is shining, and once again it's SIXTY DEGREES.

Therefore, Misplaced In The Midwest will not appear today as Misplaced has decided to take the dogs for a walk around Lake Harriet.

Enjoy this instead:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Well... still not a peep from the indignant soccer mom or her attorneys... I'm beginning to think that maybe Lynn doesn't want to play with us as it seems that she's taken her ball and gone home.

Oh well. Maybe she'll change her mind and continue to entertain us later this week.

Just to cover my ass, let's take care of the legal business:

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Misplaced In The Midwest.

Caution: Misplaced In The Midwest may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Misplaced In The Midwest Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Misplaced In The Midwest on concrete.


Discontinue use of Misplaced In The Midwest if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations

If Misplaced In The Midwest begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Misplaced In The Midwest may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Misplaced In The Midwest should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Misplaced In The Midwest, Misplaced Products Incorporated, and its parent company Misplaced Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Misplaced In The Midwest include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Misplaced In The Midwest has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt or threaten Misplaced In The Midwest.

Misplaced In The Midwest comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Misplaced In The Midwest

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

See you tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for at last attributing my work to me. I suppose I could point out that:
    1. I don’t actually care if some random asshole in Duluth thinks I’m hot… and by the way, you’re definitely not winning any beauty contests, which is probably why you’re single (well, that and your general attitude);
    2. For all the smack you’ve blogged about me, all I’ve done is civilly ask for attribution, then defend myself against your plagiarism (which makes me a cunt? Well, OK, if standing up for myself makes me a cunt, then I’ll take it as a compliment).
    3. I guess you’re neither as smart or knowledgeable as you think you are, are you? If you have to steal people’s writing, then rely on faulty legal knowledge to back up the theft, then resort to unwarranted personal attacks when you lose… well, you’re not exactly a mental giant, are you?

    Seems to me the rest of your blog post (if it’s actually original and not also stolen) could have stood on its own without my Top Ten, but if my writing makes it that much better, then you’re welcome. ☺

    One final thought: Personal attacks: “The language of nonthought.” — Lionel Trilling. (see, that’s an attribution!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Lynn:

    Wow!

    You obviously don't have much of a life, do you? I have to say that I've read "Bloggapalooza", and I can say with a fair degree of certainty that quite a bit of what YOU post is borrowed HEAVILY from other sources.

    ReplyDelete